i'm gonna kill the next person who comes irritating me

*sobx

blogger ate up my post in the afternoon

but the main point is my face is swollen
puff puff PUFFERFISH

argh

i guess it's caused by the lack of sleep i get
but i sleep 8 hours a day

so i suppose it's due to the late hours

from today
i shall regain my beauty sleep

i promise to be in bed by 12am

but promises are meant to be broken
am i right?

my eye bags are already protruding
and the anti-wrinkles cream doesnt seem to have any effects on me

oh wells
waste of money and efforts

SHIT THEM ALL!

just prays that the swelling will go off by tomorrow

i intended to go shopping tomorrow
since my house will be occupied tomorrow

in other words
i'm gonna be chased out by 9am tomorrow

i have 2 choices
first, go all the way to sengkang
second, find myself some entertainment that lasts the whole day

the main part is that
i have to be out of my house by 9am

9am, mind you!

shops don't open at 9am or rather even by 10am!

*groans

maybe i shall make a trip down to NUH to entertain da jie with lunch
he'll be most happy to introduce me his lab biohazard

nu ren shi fan jian de
nan ren shi xia jian de

motives motives motives

there's always a motive behind everything

can i just for once be faced with a motive-less situation?

ren shi jian zha de!

i don't like the feeling of being pressured
i'm sure you won't like it either

past memories are meant to be kept
yet i never fall in love with reminiscing them

it just gives me mood swings

but i turn around
and realized that more than half of more friends

are still living in the past

i have no idea whether to envy them for the courage of never giving up
or have a good laugh at how silly they are

it's a cycle, like how the food chain works

those living in the past
those who never knew when to move on

their constant care and concern
their eager cravings for hopeless hopes to come true

will indirectly cause a somesort pressure to those
receiving that overwhelming yet uninvited attention

what has the world become?

its karma huh?

i don't quite understand how karma works
but its a chain?

can someone explain that?

another question kept me thinking

how does love begin?
i was talking to this friend

and somehow he mentioned preys and predators

preys as in girls
predators as in guys

from a guy's point of view
he could choose a girl of that perfect illustration that's formed in his head
and chase her

is that love?

do you believe in love at first sight?

if you do, one word
naive!

the guy is just making a choice to prey upon you
among so many of his preys

and my friend insisted that he would have feelings for a girl
before he starts a relationship with her

crap!

your brain has already told you to join in the game
to chase and win her heart

its all about winning
not how much you love her

love is being built accordingly
as your relationship progresses

lets take a look at how a girl accepts her suitors

she'll prolly take a look at what they have
studies la
status la
bank account la

stuffs like that

first impressions do count
if you have a nice background and excellent factors to compliment yourself

the girl would prolly give you a priority
and she would most probably end up with that guy
with the best qualities!

why?

it's all about comparisons and making choices

the power of decision making!

am i right?

when you have several choices in front of you
you would most probably make a choice instead
of following what your heart tells you

what my dearie said last night was right

nu ren shi fan jian de

i guess today's the only day that
i managed to get out of bed by 9 something

i'm still feeling abit sleepy
*tired

first thing in the morning
9am...*trang

message received from Ngee Ann

great!

first thing in the morning
still lying in bed
in dreamland

open eyes first thing see my results

*laughs

i think its kinda stupid

next time i shall not apply for the SMS results thingy
so i can keep myself in suspense

and try to drag my fingers to key in my ID and password

like how you try to tally your TOTO ticket with the results

haha!

well, i think this is the first time in my whole life

that my mum actually said
"the results not bad what!"

come to think of it
i even got scolded and nagged by her
when i got my O's
cause i nearly failed my mother tongue

the results were pretty well i would say

but my shu nan told me i need and average of B+ to get into uni
and i presume that you need more than just a B+ to get into uni safely

so ending conclusion
i won't have a safe trip!

I LOVE PANG KOK MENG ROCKS!

he gave me an AD for management!
haha...he really kept his promise!

oh wells, i think everyone got AD for management la!
but i still love him loads

cause i think i did pretty badly for my paper

anyway, results are out
time for celebration?

you must be kidding!
i've already celebrated ever since exams ended

been playing, spending time and money away

well, prays that the class chalet me and dearie is organizing will turn out well

anyway to oinky
there's nothing wrong with being narcissistic ok?

as long as it makes me happy!

it really does ok

when ya feeling down
being narcissistic makes you appreciate yourself more
and you'll perhaps feel lots better!

trust me!

i'm surfing the net now
looking through some movie reviews
reading online stories
window-shopping

crystals

Swarovski Crystals?

they are nice ok!
though not many agree with me

but i just like 'em


Passion Pendant
nice right? i like the pendant part the criss-cross...stylish?
it's EUR 472
mind u! EUR 472?

in case you would like to know the exchange rate
you get 1 EUR for every 2.14 SGD




Francesco Rectangular Pendant
nice? this is just 45 EUR
but it looks macho huh? but still rather simple yet fabulous!


there's this Haley Set
it's pretty neat!
Pacific Opal and Light Azore pearl mesh
glitters under the light! =)

that's the necklace...


the bracelet...


and the ring!

there are others to it but don't quite like 'em




nice? if it's white crystal, it'll seem better or aqua blue
but still...*thumbs up

well...
found 2 pairs of earrings
star-themed for dearie
but...it's not that nice la huh?
wait till i become a designer!
i shall make a nice pair for dearie!~



well

thats all for today's crystals!

there are other shops that sells cheaper crystals
cheap as in affordable prices though

those damn cheap ones
will lose its shine after some time!
*muacks

ALL ABOUT LOVING YOU
Bon Jovi

Looking at the pages of my life
Faded memories of me and you
Mistakes you know I've made a few
I took some shots and fell from time to time
Baby, you were there to pull me through
We've been around the block a time or two
I'm gonna lay it on the line
Ask me how we've come this far
The answer's written in my eyes

[chorus:]
Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin’ to
I'm all about lovin' you

I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've paid some dues, baby
We've been to hell and back again
Through it all you're always my best friend
For all the words I didn't say and all the things I didn't do
Tonight I'm gonna find a way

[chorus:]
Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

You can take this world away
You're everything I am
Just read the lines upon my face
I'm all about lovin' you

[chorus:]
Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more
I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time
When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

All about lovin' you

what's the point of an apology after a heated argument?

or clueless spites?

to show that regretful tone?
shed that crocodile tear?

well

sometimes
i have no idea if i meant it but

I HATE YOU!

not to the core

but perhaps

if this persists

这几天以来我知道你心里一定不想见到我吧

就因为那一天我用那烦躁的语气应你吗？

还是打从一个多月前你就根本不想和我有任何瓜葛

但在不得已的情况下你还是必须面对我
毕竟大家最终是朋友一场

你是害怕面对我会觉得
尴尬？内疚？怨恨？

今天已经是第二天了
是你刻意在躲我
还是碰巧你不在场？

我不想知道原因
但却很想知道为什么我们之间会变成今天这种局面？

如果没有开始
我们还会是最渣的朋友吧

一切只不过是场儿戏
是我想太多了

我忘了之前说定下的约定
忽略了当初所说过的一切

玩玩开始就会玩玩结束

你说的一点也没错
当初谁会想到我会认真起来

虽然我从中学开始就领悟到
朋友之间最好不要超越那条界线

但很多时候情人和仇人是从朋友做起的
而好朋友往往都是从情敌，仇人甚至老乡好做起

人与人之间真不该如此脆弱
但情人与情人之间却常常需要断裂的无比彻底才能释放彼此

很有道理，对吧？

因为只有在一段感情彻底结束营业
才能赤裸裸地坦诚相对

至少我是那么认为

因为我发现
其实那些分了手的人都会老实地把一切感想和前因后果
一一分析

毕竟他曾和你相处一段时间
理解你的刁蛮任性
经历过你的无理取闹
甚至看透了你所有的缺点

对你似乎能以
"了如指掌"
来形容

以前所经历过的能成为如今问题的参考资料
因为从前为了维持感情
无法实话实说
现在便能用在开道旧情人目前的情感问题上

人与人之间很奥妙吧？

虽然我和你没有开始也没有结局
但我想当我们之间的隔阂解除后
我们会像以前一样是渣朋友

从那件事里我学会了任性会毁了一切

今天有位朋友说他前女友和她的现任男友分了手

所以我问他感想如何？

幸灾乐祸？
因为觉得那女的活该当初甩了我朋友？

开心？
因为可以乘虚而入？

惊讶？
因为已经想开了并且献上最深的祝福？

伤心？
因为她受伤了？

我朋友的感想很简单却很复杂

可能因为和人渣混了太久

他即开心却难过

因为他很爱她因为太爱，曾经化爱成恨但后来献上了最深的祝福
因为祝福并没有让他们长久所以为她感到难过
开心因为她现在是单身一人
自己便能乘虚而入

但我想我朋友他现在一定很难受
因为他语气似乎没有渣气

cheer up!

这几天他应该不好过吧

这几天我也不好过
不见人影的人突如其来的出现能让人欣喜万分
但也能让人不知所措

而我

... ... ...

是不知所措的

been reading these days

finished this book
38 degrees blanket (translate it to chinese)

but somehow i felt that
38 degrees bed sounds nicer

that book is about sex
between mars and venus

well
it educates you about sex through a story

a guy who intially thought making love to his wife
was a waste of resources
and masturbated himself constantly
to meet his sexual needs

his wife, unaware of his masturbating activities,
divorced him
thinking he no longer loved her

and another reason was
she never enjoyed having sex with him
since he never helped her reach the climax

then this guy
he went through a couple of ordeals
he went to macau and kind of fell in love with a sex worker

then somehow the sex worker went missing
and his "first lover" came back from new york

chu lian shi zui nan wang de

i kinda liked the way he had his first kiss

his first lover was from his secondary school
and she was a somesort of a prefect
and he was a notorious kid

one day he was swinging in school
on a swing, obviously

and she came running to him
informing that the principal wants to see him
and being a kind soul as she was

she helped tidied his tie, as usual

then she popped one question out of the blue
"why is it that you can never learn to tie your tie properly?"

and he said
"because it creates a chance for you to tie it for me"

...

"will you be my girlfriend?"
"zuo wo nu peng you hao ma?"

...

dead air

...

complete silence

...

then he kissed her!

and pampered her with his first kiss!

ok where was i before this kiss thingy?
oh ya...he was divorced then had fell in love with this sexual worker
and his "first love" came back from new york

and guess what?

they were 30 odd then
and they had sex in his "first love's" consultation room

i wanted to use made love
but somehow
sex seems much more appropriate

since she forced him to
and since there was this tempting apple in front of him
why not?

so he crushed that apple
and realized that she was still a virgin

he took away her virginity

he was scared out the hell lot

why?
because taking away someone's virginity
signifies a big responsibility?

that was what he claimed
but somehow i figured out he didnt love her

and that was it

and at that point in time
he was in domestic partnership with his "first love"

yet
he was budding a relationship with his ex-wife!

conclusion: guys are never contented with one woman?

well somehow she missed him and he missed her

ni qing wo yuan
so they relived their sexual encounters again

and they had it often in his car

somehow after the divorce
he learnt his lesson
and knew what a woman wants

and his ex-wife
enjoyed the pleasure of being loved!

conclusion: women are easily contented?

his ex-wife was then pregnant with a BB!

ok

just imagine
ya a guy, divorced

your first love is staying with you
and is now currently at the position of being your girlfriend

and your ex-wife!
EX-WIFE is pregnant with your baby

no wonder they say all guys are jerks!

in the end
he obviously wanted that baby

and his first love left him
to relish him his happy family

......................

the story didn't end though

there wasnt an ending
i would say

it ended with a sex scene
of him and his private attendant
in his office

*grinz

anyway
quoting from the book

it states that

women have sex because of 3 reasons
1) they wanna feel loved
2) they wanna have babies
3) it's a form of trading for wealth, fame status

why do men enjoy sex then?
because they just love it

*laughs
ok...

i have no further comments to make

i'm still underaged!
=)

well
a long night sleep

and i dreamt of a lizard falling into my mouth
headless when i was in the bathroom

*diaoz

celebrated lixian's birthday
and i realized we didnt sing her a birthday song

but well overall yesterday was pretty fine
took a couple of pics here and there

and we posed as private investigators
to catch some scandalous acts

we were at macdonalds waiting for time to fly
since my dearie had a craving for fries
and we were more than happy to be there

a girl around my age
i refuse to use the word lady
because well, it'll be an insult to that word

she was wearing a tube and a damn mini skirt
she IS NOT pretty in the single bit
at least i think so
cause well she looks like an act cute lian with
an act macho beng boyfriend

i know its very bad of me to discriminate others
but i'm speaking the truth

and apparently she tied her hair up
the way my doggie is doing right below


just imagine
we caught them in the act in vian's camera
but i shall not be that bad to post it up here

firstly, i think the picture was being deleted
secondly, the pic is with vivian
so if it happens to be in my hands
i might post it up after some edits

since i don't have it with me
i shall be NICE!

they were like kissing
every now and then
a smoochie here
another smoochie there

and the girl's body is being covered with tattoos la
on the upper left side of her breast
it says
" she loves (her boyfriend's name)"

at the back
on her spine
vertically down is her boyfriend's name
with a tiger at the bottom
*yuckx

and on the right side of her back
there's a tattoo of another guy's name

so the conclusion is?
her past experiences are being engraved on every part of her body

i know i'm being crude here but
we shall wish them all the best la
let them bai tou xie lao la
and zi sun man tang la

we headed down to nydc to eat
and apparently this time round

the girls saw this cute guy
*forgetting all about tan de de

[THE NYDC WAITER PROFILE]
Name: Eugene Lim
Age: 17 this year (born in 1988)
Height: 165cm?

thats all we know

oh ya
he looks cute with his hair

but sadly
he's shorter than vivian

haha
but that's pretty fine cause once that eugene knows that
all of us were commenting on how cute he was

he started flirting!
he would take every chance to come near the table
smile with his charming smile
and trying to create sparks with his sparkling eyes!

and the girls weren't pretty much interested in
initiative guys
so he was being ignored after he tried to flirt!
poor guy

but hey vian, he makes a good fling
though malaysia hunk makes a better boyfriend

*laughs

stupid la
somehow i preferred tan de de more!
he has much more attitude
and more macho

and lastly
HIS NAME ROCKS!

ok...

i'm still tired

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIXIAN!
18 years old le
cool...time flies!

all of a sudden i feel old
oh wells
i've been feeling old since 2005 started

16 years old marks a signifcant phase
18 is a flowery one (shi ba gu niang yi duo hua ma)
21 is the start of adulthood!

oh wells

for my 18th birthday
i only have one wish
and i only need one present

that one present is enough to make me contented and happy
*laughs
only my dearie knows what i want..
don't tell anyone ok?

thought it won't happen
but it's a wish, isnt it?

i dun need much stuffs anymore
so an impractical wish does no harm

it's not a diamond ring la
i want diamonds for my 21st though
but at a tender age of 18
i don't expect my friends to get me a diamond

i shall hack one out of my parents
but if you guys wanna get me one
i won't mind
*winks

wells
hope that 18 years old will mark a remarkable year for everyone

seems that 18 is a nice figure

been out the whole damn day yesterday
and my mind was obviously wondering off somewhere
instead of focusing on that person i was out with

i tried my very best huh?
even though it was a disappointment

but at least i gave it a shot!

bought 3 pairs of new earrings
*winks

i should get some red stuffs!

I MISS YOU!

i really do

the reason why i'm online
is because
i love playing illusion-ized games?

*slaps myself
crazy! =)

i'm feeling dead beat!
and the day has just started

wish me lucks for today
prays that all shall turn out well

i've been waiting for some good news
and i really hope that even there aint any good ones
there won't be any bad ones

iv not attained that level of withstanding blows at one go

today will be fine?
i hope so!

time to start the day
*kisses

that someone...
i don't need a guy

i need a MAN!

a man!

someone who can give me cold hard cash or perhaps
M2? M3?

a visa card will do
to increase my expenditure allowance

or AMEX
but i don't really like AMEX
it gives that kind of
feeling that
i'm dependent on my dad

don't ask me why but
AMEX are for kids that are being supported by daddys?

i'm being supported by my dad
but
i wanna be looked upon as an
independent girl

=)

so anyone other than my dad
willing to support me
or take me in as a god-daughter?

i can cook, sew, do household chores
and
i know how to spend money

so i'll definitely be of some use

if you need someone to take care of you
and secondly

you have too much credit to spare

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

what the shit am i talking

i'm talking crap
ignore the first part

i'm still pissed with soon hui la!
ask him to give me a call
when he's free
means there's definitely something important i need to tell him

and he still replies my msg asking why?

argh...so please gimme a call ya dear?

and someone destroyed my day

was supposed to be a fine nice day
went out with my parents in the morning
intended to get some vcds
then meet dearie

but somehow this friend of mine
he's a very nice friend
who somehow
always does the wrong things

and end me up in a total dilemma!

i was firstly
shocked

secondly happy

lastly
disappointed

to see him

it wasn't my intention to meet you
it was that friend of yours and mine

but glad to see you

the world's small
and we know people from the same organization

we will eventually have to say hi one day

anyway
chatted with dearie today
shopped around
and came up with the idea of a gathering for4/4

just hope that it'll be successful
i miss 4/4
somehow
when you used to dislike them
you'll learn to love them eventually

i really miss those days
4/4 is a class with intelligent people
that knows how to play!
and have FUN!
instead of mugging all the way

looking forward to meeting my long lost
"an quan gan"
TAN ZHI ZHONG!
*winks

trust

you don't trust your friends
you don't trust anyone

and finally you don't trust me?
just because someone breached the trust you had in him/her

i still remember someone told me
that if you want someone to trust you
and that they could be trusted

you have to take the first move
to trust that somone first

somehow i don't get the point as to why
you are so anti towards the trust between 2 strangers

definition of strangers:
people who don't share the same family blood

well
family members are perhaps one of those you cant place your complete trust in

i know family means your whole life to you
and that you're a very homely person

but somehow
i just felt that you could perhaps open up your heart

and accept strangers

your eyes are sparkling with tears

oh wells
how true can quizzes be?

up to a certain extent

perhaps

had my nails done
room packed
books read

doing all those little stuffs this weekend

and here i am now freed
with a set of vcds
and at the rate i'm watching them

i'll finish them by tomorrow
*laughs

i'm home alone again

at times i keep wondering if i'm living alone outside

i eat alone
watch tv alone

ok let's take it that the whole family is in
but i'll still eat alone
and my brother treats that i'm invisible
and my the other brother
is never at home

so i'm alone?

great!

i won't be home next week either
shit 'em

been reminded of you these days
well
i'm getting better
at least i think so

or rather
i tried to

i've placed in my very best
and my efforts shall pay off
eventually

hopefully

the way things ended up like this
i'm partly responsible
and since you cant be generous enough to take the first step
or give an apology
or rather forgvie someone

i shall be generous enough to leave the room
close the door on my way out
and i shall never try to turn the knob again
ever!

i'll wait outside the door
wait till the knob turns and
that you'll be standing there

but it'll never happen
and i'll definitly walk away before the knob's turned

forget me nots will always stay in your heart

i know that perfectly well

no one can ever replace her
or rather
the two of 'em

i'm a human being too
and i understand that
the harder you get something
the harder you'll appreciate that thing

whats more
she's a human

and i know
when you cant achieve or conquer something

it'll always be a challenge posed towards you
and the more you cant achieve it
the more you want that to be yours

that's the will to possess

man's greatest strength and weakness

sigh

perhaps

to tell you the truth

i'm angry with myself
dissappointed in you

and depressed with how fate plays a part in life

You are a cat woman. You are independant and very
self-rigious. You have a mind of your own and
are not afraid to show it. You tend to hide
your true feelings and get frustrated (easy).


Who are you inside????? (LOTS OF RESULTS)girls only
brought to you by Quizilla

You are an independent person! You can handle
yourself and don't need a sicnificant other
right now. But you never know it might sneak
up on you and you are so gonna get ticked when
that happens so expect the unexpected. ^_^


*UPDATED* What kind of love are you? ( COOL anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Happy April Fool's ki-ddos!

April Fools used to be a happening event or perhaps day
back those days in school

oh man
i talk like i'm some old graduate
but come to think of it
i've graduated for quite some time

but this year's and last year's april fools
had been rather quiet

nono...last year wasn't that bad
i was working then and i still remembered how
i was being bullied by 4 adults! argh! =)

but i still miss those feeling whereby
you joke about april fool's with your friends
classmates, schoolmates

yeah..=)

i tried lazing in my bed
but somehow i just couldn't

the more i lazed
the more i thought

slept at 4 last night
without feeling the least bit of weariness in me

what have i been doing since exams ended

shopping
and eating miserably alone

perhaps i could just get some company
but i dropped that idea

i shall lead a solitary life!

being alone keeps your brain working
so that your brain juices won't dry up and
eventually get clots up

but it's miserable to be alone

at times
you'll find people staring at you
and they will be thinking
"what the hell is this gal doing here alone?"

like how the way you stare at others
when you see them being alone

it's the way human reacts

you can't blame them
cause i do that some times

and the best thing you could ever do is
smile back at those who are staring into you

a wide big radiant smile
transmitting the message that
"i enjoy being alone and i bet ya jealous
cause you'll never get to taste the feeling of pampering yourself
now, buzz off! and have a nice day!"

there are usually 2 reactions under such circumstances

that person either smiles back and befriends you
or will just leave that place, feeling totally embarrassed

what the hell is wrong with shopping alone!
and reading a god-damn book in a cafe?

please!

it's not against the law that a 17 year old girl
can't go shopping alone
it's not like she's not paying for the services
and the point is she's helping to spur the economy

ok, what am i feeling unhappy about this very moment

i'm happy..contented i would say

i just want to be alone
for this week

next week will be a hectic week
and what i need is just a break for this moment
to clear my thoughts
and know where i'm heading towards
what i'm gonna give up
what i'm gonna persist on

goodness gracious!
it wasn't as bad as i've thought

i managed to finish reading a book
man and boy by tony parsons

and i learnt that

love is what's left when being in love is gone

really?

think simple girl, life would seem much better then!