i was browsing through my brother's past entries
that i discovered

i kept my passion for the council burning. but deep inside me. i know. im tired. tired of having to think deeply bout wad i gonna do, wad i will do, and wad others will do. im sick. sick of my ep3. sick of the monotonous stuff. but i know, in my heart, this was the path i chose, and i guess i have to stick with it.

he sounds like he's tired with school
with council
with NCC
with studies

i totally understand how he feels
fighting, striving, competing

he's starting to mature huh?
not like those days
once he's tired
he'll give up completely

i just felt that
he should be enjoying himself with all these stuffs
monotonous's not the word
perhaps he'll only come to realize
that in the future

somehow or what
he's much more fortunate than anyone
or rather, me
he has the fullest support from my family

i was always alone fighting for my rights OK!
and no one supported whatever i did
from swimming to guiding
from this to that!

thanks ar, brother
always putting me down
complimenting that i won't succeed before i even start
cause he knows that i might overtake him

don't worry
i won't try to overtake you academically
i'm not a mugger like you

at the end of the day
i'm still a nice girl
*words of encouragement
if you think ya the winner, you'll always be one
you don't have to be bothered by the way people look at you
the way people comment about you
the way people puts you down
cux only those who are inferior
those who are jealous
those who have low confidence and lives in fear
will try all ways and means to put you down
advices are meant to be heeded
heeding doesn't mean you have to follow, to abide
but just taking them into consideration
that's all i have to say

perhaps you beg to differ
that's how i feel, though