Tuesday, November 30, 2004
sometimes in lifewhy does it always seem that
when you get what you yearn
finally
you won't be happy at all...
i thought that i would be very happy
with the way i wanted things to be
but i realized that
dreamz aren't always beautiful in reality
let's take an example..
on my above cheemology...
many singles out there
will be yearning for a nice boyfriend or girlfriend
but when they found one
they will start to yearn for
Freedom!
well oh well,
if that's what you're given
be content with that...
i was here at 16:13
Sunday, November 28, 2004
spot one of my dears name in there
ta-dah...haha =)
i was here at 10:50
.jpg)
guess where this is?
i was here at 10:49
jian gui la!
i was here at 10:49
from top left clockwise
xian_mE_jas_vian
i was here at 10:48
amazed by the glass...BOO!
i was here at 10:47
me n vian________*
i was here at 10:47
woah....
i was here at 10:43
.jpg)
vian vian n mE______-*
i was here at 10:42
Saturday, November 27, 2004
w i s h e Xx______*
i'm finally 17! cheerXx..
birthday resolutionz?
i'll take this time to write about it..
cux maybe i won't have the chance in future..
well, this year...
1. i'll try to be nicer and not so mean
i know at times i'm very bad, but! sometimes i don't mean it =)
2. find someone who truely understands me
3. independent, mature young lady
4. do something which i never had the courage to do, say rather
5. move house!
6. someone offers me a scholarship
7. get someone who appreciates me, gives me all the freedom that i want and respect me..
a boyfriend? how bout a pink bear?
8. scuba dive!
9. eat eat eat!
10. do all the things i wanna do at one go!
11. freedom!
well, wishes are like dreamx
resolutions are courses of action determined or decided on
well, so it doesn't have to fulfilled, right?
i will try to..
but at times,
it takes two hands to clap..
ta-dah!
i was here at 13:13
Friday, November 26, 2004
today is my last day of sixteen years old.the day i have been waiting for
has finally arrived...
i should be happy that i am finally a year older..
the long awaited day!
HOWEVER!
i'm feeling very down now...
cux..my dear soon hui!
he said that after i am 17 years old,
he will be 18 in a month's time!
SHIT HIM!
and he promised me something
which i don't believe will happen...
but, i'll try to believe k?
he say at 12 midnight,
he will let fireworks..
saying " I LOVE U DEAR, MUACKS!"
well, prayXx it will happen!
somehow or what
i'm glad i'm here today..
=) kenny made my day!
thanks to all my dears and dearies!
esp les dear, yang wo de dear,
kenny dear...and lotXx more..
*muacksXx
i was here at 22:50
Thursday, November 25, 2004
don't you think the music in the background roCKXx!
THAT'S WHAT GIRLS DO
By: No Secrets
You ask me why
I change the color of my hair (yeah)
You ask me why
I need thirty two pairs of shoes (to wear)
You seem to ask me why I've got a lot of things
It's just a chick thing...
you ought to let it go
You try to understand
but you don't have a clue........
CHORUS
That's what girls do
Keep you guessing the whole day through
Play your emotions
push all your buttons it's true
That's what girls do
You ask me why
I gotta play so hard to get (yeah)
You ask me
do I play it cool just to make you sweat (yeah)
You want some kind of explanation I can give
You want some kind of explanation I can give
It's just a chick thing...
that your messin' withto me
it's black and white
but it's not gettin' through to you......
CHORUS
BRIDGE
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why should I change
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah....
I'm havin', too much fun
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah....
to you it's confusing
to me it's nothing new
CHORUS
i was here at 23:58
kenny png guo chen____*
i was here at 20:31
.jpg)
king kong in action__*
i was here at 20:30
let me tell LIM YIHONG something!
i have a place in KENNY PNG's heart!
but thanks guys, kenny and yihong..
kenny, my 'dear' and yihong, our beloved king kong!
can't believe you two just come down my house
then leave without even coming in...
*impressed
it must be kenny's idea!
cux yihong won't treat me that good!
wahaha...king kong..kai wan xiao!
although king kong always suan me,
he has been a great friend.
providing you the lame jokes and humour
whenever you needed them!
i know sometimes i very bad la..
but what are friends for? haha..
u bian shuai le la!
well, someone commented on that
but i agree with HER!
as for my dear kenny!
i'm glad that you weren't frightened off
by me throughout the 2 years..
missed those days in school!
where i will be arguing with catherine
over kenny!
thanks guys!
and kenny wrote something that really impressed me
with his CHINESE!
anyway..thankx guys..friends eva!
~~~~~~
如果要在我们的
这份爱加上一个
- expiry date -
我希望是
八万八千八百八十八年
~~~~~~
i was here at 20:19
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
check out my engagement ring..*muackXx
love lessy dear! wahaha
i was here at 22:33
imagine this scenario..
2 males and 2 females enter the toilet at the same time.
who will come out of the toilet first?
well, i believe most of you guys find this scenario familiar.
and your first response will be..
the males will be out first!
but hello?!
i came out of the toilet earlier than my male friends..
today..for the first time!
amazing? i'm amazed!
----------*
had a wonderful day today..
brings back those old days...
people do change!
i was here at 22:25
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
people change.
i changed. so have you.
along the path of growing up,
there might be too many changes..
dramatic or tremendous until we can't bring ourselves to face them.
especially if your loved ones, those who love you
did a hundred and eighty degress change.
take a look at the people around you
you may have seen them yesterday
but there are bound to be changes in them
be it mediocre or extreme.
those who were once your friends
might be backstabbing you this very moment.
those who you once never enjoyed being with
might be helping you out of the shit you are in.
sometimes i wonder why we are human beings.
being one is so tough.
what will you do if the one you once loved
changed...changed into someone
who is extremely atrocious?
what if one day the one you love
betrays you?
if something like this is going to happen on me now.
i doubt i have the confidence or courage to go on.
but such things always happen.
what can i say? pray hard then...
i changed. so have you.
along the path of growing up,
there might be too many changes..
dramatic or tremendous until we can't bring ourselves to face them.
especially if your loved ones, those who love you
did a hundred and eighty degress change.
take a look at the people around you
you may have seen them yesterday
but there are bound to be changes in them
be it mediocre or extreme.
those who were once your friends
might be backstabbing you this very moment.
those who you once never enjoyed being with
might be helping you out of the shit you are in.
sometimes i wonder why we are human beings.
being one is so tough.
what will you do if the one you once loved
changed...changed into someone
who is extremely atrocious?
what if one day the one you love
betrays you?
if something like this is going to happen on me now.
i doubt i have the confidence or courage to go on.
but such things always happen.
what can i say? pray hard then...
i was here at 20:35
Monday, November 22, 2004
i went down to ngee ann not long ago
to submit my appeal of resumption in school
hope that they'll approve...
*cross fingers
well, i chatted with wanyi last night!
she still as naive and innocent as ever..
haha..got cheated by me still dunno!
to those gals, 26th Dec is a special day!
u gals better remember if not i'll kill all of you!
cux even our blur wanyi remembers lo!
5pm at the merlion situated at the esplanade..
all must dress nice nice then we take pictures ok?
i've been staying at home these days..
well, to be exact about 2 days
i'm engrossed in sims2
cux i'm rather fascinated at how they make out
and wohoo!
today, i shall finish watching the vcd and pack my earrings and necklaces!
and tomorrow i shall go shopping alone!
since no one is available!
i need to get the shoes, top..
and maybe a sling bag for school!
and some things that makes me look like a schoolgirl!
well, my brother claims that i am ageing..
hello?!
i'm not even 17 ok?
i'm still 16!
to submit my appeal of resumption in school
hope that they'll approve...
*cross fingers
well, i chatted with wanyi last night!
she still as naive and innocent as ever..
haha..got cheated by me still dunno!
to those gals, 26th Dec is a special day!
u gals better remember if not i'll kill all of you!
cux even our blur wanyi remembers lo!
5pm at the merlion situated at the esplanade..
all must dress nice nice then we take pictures ok?
i've been staying at home these days..
well, to be exact about 2 days
i'm engrossed in sims2
cux i'm rather fascinated at how they make out
and wohoo!
today, i shall finish watching the vcd and pack my earrings and necklaces!
and tomorrow i shall go shopping alone!
since no one is available!
i need to get the shoes, top..
and maybe a sling bag for school!
and some things that makes me look like a schoolgirl!
well, my brother claims that i am ageing..
hello?!
i'm not even 17 ok?
i'm still 16!
i was here at 13:57
Saturday, November 20, 2004
fly kite, fly kite,
all the rest can go
fly kite!
**********
we were supposed to fly kites today.
but somehow or what, it was cancelled.
when was the last time i flew a kite?
well, i love flying kites!
and someone just challenged to
buy my over by flying kites, eating ice cream and talking under the clouds
on the big big green green field..
well, to that person:
u'll never succeed!
cuz everytime i'm supposed to fly kites, it'll rain!
i still remember
that time i was with a friend
everytime we try to fly kites together,
it'll rain!
how obedient can the weather be?
i was here at 21:36
Friday, November 19, 2004
i just ended a conversation with him,
half an hour ago.
seems to me that he is looking forward
to work and getting into NS.
he gave me a clear vision of
where i am heading in life.
i just love talking to him,
he may always give me that
"i can't be bothered with you" attitude.
but deep down i know he has
always been the friend who pops by
whenever i need someone.
perhaps that's telepathy...
he doesn't give me any comments
in whatever decisions i make.
just being there to listen
and giving me the type of tone
"don't regret k?"
that's all...
he's the only one now who doesn't
doubt what i am doing
and he's absolutely confident that i'll be fine alone...
*some things are better left unsaid..forever
----------
i went to check out my youngest brother campfire night today.
i missed those campfire days!
in river valley.
we always get to perform and see others dance
missed those guiding days!
and the fire, singings, cheerings, flirting?
well, primary school campfires
are simply childish!
those who attended campfires quite often
won't like their style of campfiring...
i really miss all the fun and laughters!
my brother just told my mum
that he would like to call himself
harry dick!
and my mum said it seems nice and easy to remember..
well, imgaine her face if she realizes the meaning behind it..
i was here at 22:17
Thursday, November 18, 2004
i was reading xiang's blog when i came across this questionaire.
seemed rather interesting =P
cuz i haven been doing such things
for a long long time..ta-dah?!
B A S I C Q U E S T I O N S...
[my name is]: xinyan aka yan zai aka dear arh aka too many to be listed..latest..OiNkZ
[in the morning i am]: wondering what i will be doing today
[all i need is]: freedom!
[love is]: when 2 ppl who are fated to be together, meet and never let each other go!
[im afraid of]: being rejected
[i dream about]: being a tai tai who is a career lady!
H A V E Y O U E V E R . .
[pictured your crush naked?]: wahahaha..how many of u dun fantasize?!
[actually seen ur crush naked]: half naked!
[been in love]: whats the definition of love?
[drank alcohol]: yupXx
T H I S O R T H A T . .
[coke or pepsi]: coke
[flowers or candy]: i used to love candies..but i luurve flowers noW! cuz i was a gal but i'm a lady now!
W I T H T H E O P P O S I T E S E X . . .
[what do u notice first?]: smile
[last person u slow danced with]: pink bear? white bear?
[worst thing to say]: whatever...shit hiM!
[scruff or clean shaven]: clean shaven
[tall or short]: taller than me..wahaha
W H O . .
[makes u laugh the most?]: muacksbaby! but i missed those days with sincere laughters..[makes you smile]: **r**
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: ppl whom i cant communicate with
[has a crush on u?]: wahaha..lotXx..pink bear...white bear..purple bear..how bout u?
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: boys! i hate gals at timeXx
D O Y O U E V E R . . .
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to Msg u?]: ya..it's worth all the wait[save aol/aim conversations]: all of them..can track back time...haha
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: ya..of cux..=(
H A V E Y O U E V E R . . .
[fallen for ur best friend]: well, so what? but some things are better left unsaid..am i right?
[been rejected]: well, rejected..is a break up considered a rejection?
[rejected someone]: what can i say?
[used someone]: i'm a bad gal, at times, it cant be helped..sorry
[been cheated on]: shit the person!
[done something u regret]: ya..regret for life!
W H O W A S T H E L A S T P E R S O N . .
[u talked to]: xuezhen
[hugged]: my xiao di di..
[u instant messaged]: jasline
[u laughed with]: jasline's mummy!
D O Y O U . .
[color your hair]: ya..but its fading!
[habla espanol]: whats that huh?!
H A V E Y O U / / D O Y O U / / A R E Y O U
[smoke]: nope..never will..
[obsessive]: at times when i'm throwing tantrums
[could u live without the computer?]: NO! unless i'm living near the beach!
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: haha..i really have no idea
[what's your favorite food?]: ice cream waffles! pasta!
[What's ur favorite drink?]: hazelnut latte..
[what's ur favorite fruit?]: strawberries
[think emotional pain is worse than physical?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: nope..
F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S . .
[i want]: to get back my freedom!
[i wish]: i could just move out and live alone!
[i love]: myself!
[i miss]: my frenXx..*muackXx...and of cux him! soon, u'll be freed! yeah!
[i fear]: being forgotten
[i hear]: someone crying
[i wonder]: if we could ever be together..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this questionair are courtcey of Viet aka johnnieblazze
seemed rather interesting =P
cuz i haven been doing such things
for a long long time..ta-dah?!
B A S I C Q U E S T I O N S...
[my name is]: xinyan aka yan zai aka dear arh aka too many to be listed..latest..OiNkZ
[in the morning i am]: wondering what i will be doing today
[all i need is]: freedom!
[love is]: when 2 ppl who are fated to be together, meet and never let each other go!
[im afraid of]: being rejected
[i dream about]: being a tai tai who is a career lady!
H A V E Y O U E V E R . .
[pictured your crush naked?]: wahahaha..how many of u dun fantasize?!
[actually seen ur crush naked]: half naked!
[been in love]: whats the definition of love?
[drank alcohol]: yupXx
T H I S O R T H A T . .
[coke or pepsi]: coke
[flowers or candy]: i used to love candies..but i luurve flowers noW! cuz i was a gal but i'm a lady now!
W I T H T H E O P P O S I T E S E X . . .
[what do u notice first?]: smile
[last person u slow danced with]: pink bear? white bear?
[worst thing to say]: whatever...shit hiM!
[scruff or clean shaven]: clean shaven
[tall or short]: taller than me..wahaha
W H O . .
[makes u laugh the most?]: muacksbaby! but i missed those days with sincere laughters..[makes you smile]: **r**
[gives u a funny feeling when u see them]: ppl whom i cant communicate with
[has a crush on u?]: wahaha..lotXx..pink bear...white bear..purple bear..how bout u?
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: boys! i hate gals at timeXx
D O Y O U E V E R . . .
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to Msg u?]: ya..it's worth all the wait[save aol/aim conversations]: all of them..can track back time...haha
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: ya..of cux..=(
H A V E Y O U E V E R . . .
[fallen for ur best friend]: well, so what? but some things are better left unsaid..am i right?
[been rejected]: well, rejected..is a break up considered a rejection?
[rejected someone]: what can i say?
[used someone]: i'm a bad gal, at times, it cant be helped..sorry
[been cheated on]: shit the person!
[done something u regret]: ya..regret for life!
W H O W A S T H E L A S T P E R S O N . .
[u talked to]: xuezhen
[hugged]: my xiao di di..
[u instant messaged]: jasline
[u laughed with]: jasline's mummy!
D O Y O U . .
[color your hair]: ya..but its fading!
[habla espanol]: whats that huh?!
H A V E Y O U / / D O Y O U / / A R E Y O U
[smoke]: nope..never will..
[obsessive]: at times when i'm throwing tantrums
[could u live without the computer?]: NO! unless i'm living near the beach!
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: haha..i really have no idea
[what's your favorite food?]: ice cream waffles! pasta!
[What's ur favorite drink?]: hazelnut latte..
[what's ur favorite fruit?]: strawberries
[think emotional pain is worse than physical?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: nope..
F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S . .
[i want]: to get back my freedom!
[i wish]: i could just move out and live alone!
[i love]: myself!
[i miss]: my frenXx..*muackXx...and of cux him! soon, u'll be freed! yeah!
[i fear]: being forgotten
[i hear]: someone crying
[i wonder]: if we could ever be together..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this questionair are courtcey of Viet aka johnnieblazze
i was here at 21:51
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
this was my first skin..i placed it back cuz many people preferred the sad music
and the teary baby face...
the thought of it makes me angry
i have no idea why?
when i am sad,
ppl complain i should not be depressed!
when i am happy,
they say i am noisy!
anyway i like this skin better..
suits me better...
yuan nu ar!
check the skin i had before and after this!
i was here at 21:53
i was here at 21:51
to all 4/4rianXx
in case you guys don't know
we are offically divorced
wahahaha
see ya guys soon! *muackXx esp my CHOK! and zhizhong!
i was here at 21:28
to enquire about my modules.
it was just a bus trip down the road
but i'm feeling damn exhausted now!
maybe cuz i'm getting old...
well, feeling very depressed now too.
menopause? PMS?
that's not the point i guess.
i'm just feelind down and lost.
stranded on an island where nobody understands me at all.
they just only know how to comment.
i know that at times,
you guys are just concerned
but can you just kindly understand my thoughts
my situation, my worries, my fears first
before jumping to any conclusions?
i am 17 years old..no..16 to be exact
and i believe i am responsible for any decisions i make.
i dun need a boyfriend
i dun need to take up a new course
i just want to do the things that i want to do
even though i know its all impossible now!
maybe it's the emotional barrier that
i can't walk out.
it kinds of bothers me but well,
i just shut up!
we'll see how it goes.
and the worst part is that,
i feel that the whole world is having this attitude problem
and its freaking me out!
or perhaps i am the one being attitude?
i shall try to keep my cool next wk..
cuz A levels are ending! =P
to...i know you are busy mugging now.
but i guess our telepathy works.
and i got a feeling i'll be receiving your sms 's this weekend
and i have that feeling that i will be meeting you next weekened.
okieXx well, i am not alone
but i am feeling very miserable and lonely!
don't ask me why,
i'm just entering depression state!
i'm being contradicting,
i really feel like studying
but i just don't have that urge or motivation to keep me going
the kind of feeling which i used to have..
you know that kind...yeah! i can go to sch and have fun again!
i'll think about it again
after thinking for days and weeks.
i know i am stubborn but so are you guys!
so stop nagging at me
and stop commenting about me..
points taken so just give me a break ya?
stop insisting that i am stubborn
and stop nagging!
i know what i am doing and i will be responsible for my own actions ya??
i'll make my own decisions at the end of the day.
i always did...
but for now, i'll accompany my pink bear!
i was here at 20:56
to be left alone!
ALONE!
let me tell you why...
my friends are so busy with their lives..
how sad..
those who are working are working
those who are camping are camping
those who are studying are studying
those who are entertaining their bfs are entertaining their bfs..
well, where's my pink bear by the way?
its okay, its alright...
i still have my white bear!
i was here at 10:59
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
well, i went out with one of my dears today!my yang wo de!
havent seen him for months since graduation!
he hasnt changed much though,
still as childish and trying to be a responsible guy...
i discovered something BIG!
kenny and soon hui are primary school mates!
OMG, i was so fascinated.
this makes the relationship complicated..
*pondering
i'm feeling very attitude now
my mum is also being attitude now
my dad is also being very attitude
and my youngest brother is also feeling damn attitude
guess what?
i broke his spectacles, or should i put it this way...
i broke his spectacles INDIRECTLY!
well, i shall shut up for now!
i'm bored! i dun wanna be independent!
i was here at 20:14
Monday, November 15, 2004
i was reading this article fromlian he zao bao yesterday.
it's about modern age matchmaking sessions.
oh well, matchmaking?
how many of you out there are willing to attend matchmaking sessions.
to me, matchmaking!
must be those people with bad habits
and irritating faces who are not presentable
at all!
maybe someone like the old uncle who frequents
Geylang like how you uses the toilet?
well, i've never tried matchmaking personally.
so if anyone is going to sign up for matchmaking,
ask me along, sounds interesting!
okie..back to the article
its about this reporter who disguises as someone who
is going matchmaking.
the matchmaking session is made by this company called
LUNCH ACTUALLY!
it's kind of sweet to have such a name..
i wonder if the boss met his or her partner
under matchmaking sessions
maybe i should invest a new company in future,
called -- SEX ACTUALLY!
idea! anyone wanna invests too?
back..and the one she's matchmaking is a guy
by the name of--
David, 29 years old, accountant
based on the comments from the reporter,
David looks pleasant and presentable
and guess what?
such a quiet guy, whom i suspect maybe an introvert
has matchmade for 23 times
but has not found his "THE ONE"
i'm quite surprised!
well, he claims that the feeling is not right..
okie...let's take it that the feeling is not right!
but let us take a look at his expectations from "HIS ONE"!
1) a simple girl who doesnt have high expectations in guys, not ambitious and career minded
well, who does he think he is? you have expectations from others why cant people have expectations from you? ambitious! career-minded! how many singaporeans are not?
2) kan de shun yan ( how do i define that? pleasant looking?)
i believe that out of the 23 gals you met, at least 20 are! mabye his definition of pleasant looking might be that of miss singapore.
3) preferably an undergraduate
this David is very contradictiong! he wants a university student, yet expecting her not the be ambitious and career minded..HELLO?!
4) quiet yet bubbly at times..preferably those who do sports
well, what elso do you want?
5) someone who loves shopping! and knows how to dress up!
like shit! by that time if she starts squandering your money on shopping sprees, u'll be screaming away!
6) smaller size than him
take a look at all his expectations!
and he claims that he wants to start a family by 35 years old?
seems hard...or rather IMPOSSIBLE to me!
there was once his buddy introduced a very nice lady to him
but there was no conclusion in the end.
guess what? he claims that the lady is slightly plump!
pengZx!
who does he think he is? looking for such a perfect lady!
does he have the rights?
maybe if he is beckam or tom cruise!
or even george bush!
then he has the rights to choose!
but he is just another plain ordinary singaporean guy!
and he still claims that the feeling is not right!
when he is basically finding faults physically and materialistically from those very nice ladies!
but i cant blame him!
for guyS! it's always lust at first sight!
oh well, i shouldn't be commenting on him!
but hello!
please lower your expectations!
dun wei nan zi ji!
i was here at 13:15
Sunday, November 14, 2004
what are dreams without love?after thinking about it for days.
i began to doubt my principle that,
LOVE DOESNT MAKES THE WORLD GOES ROUND.
well, i really have no idea where i am heading in life.
i'm leaving behind my studies, idling
and trying my very best to squander my money and time.
so that finally, i'll be too broke
to be enjoying life and hence begging to be back in school.
sadly, money spent can be earned.
time wasted but the future awaits you.
however it's kinda contradicting!
cuz you'll be frowning when
you have just shillings in your pockets.
time? well, time and tide waits for no man!
so what am i supposed to do?
go shopping and chilling out at cafes all alone?
again?
i can see myself strolling down the streets of town
going down to holland v
and locking myself inside my room once again.
just like how i spent my first 7mths this year
when all of them are happily stuggling in JC.
soon, poly will start and all JC students will be busily preparing their a levels!
here i am again!
waking up to every wonderful morning,
wondering where i will be that particular day!
back to that question..
what are dreams without love?
am i obliged to answer such a cheemology question?
dreams without love are just plain dreams.
i prefer the word lone to love ok?
love..
i thought seventeen year old girls should be happily
looking forward to prince charmings.
oh well, i suddenly realized that i have no interests in guys.
(to those very ba gua frenxx)
so give me a break and shut up!
dreams without love are just dreams.
who says you need someone to love you
to keep your life going.
who says you need a boyfriend to be entertained?
what's your definition of boyfriends by the way?
i love you, you love me..
happily meeting each other every weekend,
hold hands, watch movies, kisses and hugs
then sweet talking every night,
sending each other sweet nothings
and feel hurt when you guys break up.
oh well, a boyfriend might also be someone you can talk to
a confidante?
but friends can be confidantes too.
but, i'm contradicting myself again!
friends can never be confidantes?
i have no idea why there are so many people in this world
who just bottles up everything
and keeps to themselves
when they actually have friends to speak to..
that's life...
just wanna tell you that,
without love, i can still jolly well be happy.
perhaps i'm too used to being independent.
i don't really need someone to be by my side every minute,
every second, showering me with care and concern
all the time.
i prefer freedom then being tied down.
maybe if you have known me years ago..
i might be different.
but for now, i don't need love.
i just need me to love myself, not yours.
but thanks for being there for me, all these while.
i'm grateful that i met you.
i agree with you that,
dreams require love.
but for now,
i just want to be alone.
sorry...
i was here at 17:58
Friday, November 12, 2004
Love doesnt makes the world goes round.but...
What are dreams without love?
are dreams and love interconnected?
i was here at 13:41
Thursday, November 11, 2004
we went vivian's house today.to celebrate her 17th birthday.
well, sad to say.
i've been down in my luck recently...
like shit! i only won one round of mahjong!
haiXx =(
i've been spending this whole week with muacksbaby.
and i have a feeling i will be meeting them soon for KTV!
not bad! i love being with them and my dears.
cux i can rot!
like shit!
check out the pics below!
birthday girl with her cake! *muackXx
i was here at 23:24
.jpg)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIVIAN! *muackXx
i was here at 23:12
.jpg)
thats her cake!
i was here at 23:11
.jpg)
dun touch with ur dirty hands!
i was here at 23:11
.jpg)
act cute lo!
i was here at 23:11
.jpg)
i'm so happy..muackXxbaby came today!
i was here at 23:10
.jpg)
yumXx
i was here at 23:09
.jpg)
the cake's gone...too bad!
i was here at 23:08
well oh well,
chalet was fun.
cuZ i met shu nan, yihong, tzesiang
and not forgetting my dear kenny!
i still remembered the days i went "crazy" over him..
missed those days we spent in NCC and Guides...
all those crap and stuffs..
muacksbaby..as usual..was fun!
of cuX they are!
all nice galxx..
and i have no idea why the 6 of us are called
- muacksbaby
i thought that was supposed to be my ID???
today's Deepavali and SOMEONE ELSE's birthday
but i just simply cant remember whose it is..
haha..*oUch
someone hit my head and raped my PINK BEAR!
vivian! please grow up!
ya officially 17! *muackXx
find ur prince charming soon and keep ur hands of my PINK BEAR!
boo! love you galXx...
see ya later..*muackXx
pS: dear les aR..next wk go out kk..muackXx
i was here at 12:05
Monday, November 08, 2004
met the girlXx on saturday night to have dinner.it was a nice one.
full of laughters and crap.
it was supposed to be muacksbaby gathering.
but somehow or what, there was a pink bear craze going on...
haha..check out the piXx..there are more to come..
u know why?
cuZ there's a chalet today..
see ya galXx soon..
loved all the crap!
dun snatch my tan de de, k?
promise?
i was here at 01:00
liu jie mei__where's the 7th one?
i was here at 00:58
the proposal...AWww...how romanticXx!
i was here at 00:57
soft toy's gathering..HIHI!
i was here at 00:56
I KNOW I'M SHORT...SHUT UP..WAHAHA
i was here at 00:55
i was here at 00:54
i was here at 00:54
me and my BOYFRIEND!
i was here at 00:53
cute? i mean the pink bear la!
i was here at 00:52
look at the white car! oOopZx_*
i was here at 00:51
xue and mE
i was here at 00:50
where's my TAN DE DE?
i was here at 00:49
mE and deaR *muackXx
i was here at 00:48
we love PINK BEAR!
i was here at 00:47
scorpion galXx
i was here at 00:46
______*xian and mE
i was here at 00:45
interested? only the top right is attached..
i can help intro the singleXx___*
i was here at 00:44
titanic__u smile___i smile*
i was here at 00:42
sen ge nu cao ren..smiLEZx
i was here at 00:41
han qing mo mo___*
i was here at 00:38
my mother tell me...at night dun shoot with TREES!
i was here at 00:38
look at ah xue's hand..she's trying to act cute again!
i was here at 00:37
*__smileXx
i was here at 00:36
hamsters and ninjas?!?
i was here at 00:35
can see us not? check out for couples making out!
i was here at 00:34
shu nu men..xiao yi ge...sMiLeZx*
i was here at 00:33
the 1..2..5 look...ACT CUTe!
i was here at 00:31
vivian seems very tired___thinking of BLUE BEAR?
i was here at 00:29
the act Ngee Ann look___*
i was here at 00:27
wahaha..
i was here at 00:26
taken by jasline_the artistic photographer
i was here at 00:25
*___si jie mei___si duo hua
i was here at 00:24
Sunday, November 07, 2004
dedicated to XXX
life is not a bed of roseson the path of growing upwe are bound to be tripped down by many unforseen obstaclesby picking ourselves up from those falls matures everyone of us
i feel that your studies should be given top priority
just concentrate on excelling in your upcoming papers
instead of meddling with matters of the heart
i know it's going to be hard
and i know it's not easy to just leave such matters aside first
he might be in the same class as you are
he may be one of your good friends
one of ur friends may hav also fallen for him
the pain might be v hard to endure
but i believe that time will heal everything
maybe you should try avoiding them for some time
there will bound to be some misunderstandings if the 3 of u face each other
she might not know now
but who can guarantee she will never knowif everything blows up
it'll be harder to put them all back in place
you're a nice girl
if he doesn't appreciate you
then let it be
i believe there will be many better choices out there once you get into JC
and please!HAVE SOME SELF CONFIDENCE IN YOURSELF
you're not as bad as you think
i've known you for 4 years ok?
we may not be that close but
i've seen you changed from someone who is not that friendly
to someone who is mature and nice enough
and one who has her own character
you don't have to be bothered about how others disapproves or think of you
you are who you are
there are two reasons as to why people comment
firstly, because they care for u
secondly, they are just simply envious of you
no matter how you think that no one in this world cares and loves you
that is just your thinking on your part
i believe that there are people out there who cares and loves you
you're not one ugly fat pig out there who is crippled lo
i've seen a couple around my estate who are very loving even though they can't speak
so a perfectly fine girl like youwill definitely have someone who cares for u
it's just that you never realixed that
friends are part and parcel of our lives
no matter how stubborn you are
no matter how hard you try to deny that you need no one for you
no matter how you insist that you enjoy solitude
you still need a friend
even though you might have spent years alone
not telling anyone about all you problems
eventually you will still need someone to be there for u
don't always bottle everything up
in the end you will suffer even more
and you will take a longer time to climb up on your feet
life may be unfair to you
but god will be fair
if he hasn't given u the best in life now
he will give you whatever you deserved in future
parents?what can i say? all parents are the same
they give you the most darned irritating rules and naggings
that was how i felt then
until today, maybe
years later maybe you will start to realize that they meant well
just give your best shot in your upcoming papers for now
everything will be fine after this year
there will a drastic change in your life after graduation
things will be different and you will think differently
but for now
do well in your exams
get a good job
earn enough
and leave this place
since that was what you wanted
live your life for yourself
not for those who don't love u at all
and not for your parents
you rock your own world
and remember you're never alone
build up some confidence in urself
cheerioXx!!
i was here at 23:00
Friday, November 05, 2004
what is in life that keeps u going? what is that thing that has kept me going all these years then?
well, before i was 7, it was those saturday speech and drama classes, phonetic classes, whatever camps or workshops that u could ever imagined. cuz i could meet many human beings who spoke the same language as i did.
"Don't u have siblings or cousins?" sadly, i'm the eldest and only daughter of the family. therefore i had no playmates when i was still a bean (dou dou). come to think of it, i had no childhood. i only remembered attending classes and passing my tests with flying classes.
to those future parents out there, don't force ur kids to take up so many courses. it will only bring about impending adverse effects.
after i was 7, i loved the idea of going to school. though i dread those scoldings canings and pushing from my mum to to well in my studies, i enjoyed those innocent and naive days. recesses were the ones i look forward to everyday. playing catching, hopscotch or just simply giggling at the tables. saturdays were wonderful then, playing catching in the pool with my then peers. however those worries-freed days were no longer in presence as i grew up.
betrayals, competitions, puppy love and whatever u could think of entered my life when i was in secondary school. i hated facing those traumatic events that took place, but that was how friendships were bonded. camps, campfires, guides and THE ONE i looked forward to meeting in school. i believe that most of u guys out there also had more or less the reasons that never fails to make u attend school everyday, that provided us with the drive and motivation to put in our very best in whatever we did. i really missed those days, laughters, tears, fights, true emotions?haha
what about now? what is that thing that motivates u, that keeps you going? your relationship with ur boyfriend? girlfriend? your future of getting into NUS? or just simply pleasing your parents? dreams? ur future prince charming?
oh well
LOVE DOESN't MAKES THE WORLD GOES ROUND
dreams!
once, love and friendships kept me going, but for now, dreams rock the world. as i "age", i started to realize that nothing in this world is eternal. cuZ people and emotions are everchanging. dreams are different. they may seem far far away from us, beyond reach or recognition, but at least we have a goal to strive at to aim for, am i right?
what's the definition of dreams again?
dream: a wild fancy or hope
u see ar...
hope...because of hope we live
because of dreams...i had the motivation to live on
to prove that dreams will come true one day!
so dun laugh at my dreams k? *muacks
well, before i was 7, it was those saturday speech and drama classes, phonetic classes, whatever camps or workshops that u could ever imagined. cuz i could meet many human beings who spoke the same language as i did.
"Don't u have siblings or cousins?" sadly, i'm the eldest and only daughter of the family. therefore i had no playmates when i was still a bean (dou dou). come to think of it, i had no childhood. i only remembered attending classes and passing my tests with flying classes.
to those future parents out there, don't force ur kids to take up so many courses. it will only bring about impending adverse effects.
after i was 7, i loved the idea of going to school. though i dread those scoldings canings and pushing from my mum to to well in my studies, i enjoyed those innocent and naive days. recesses were the ones i look forward to everyday. playing catching, hopscotch or just simply giggling at the tables. saturdays were wonderful then, playing catching in the pool with my then peers. however those worries-freed days were no longer in presence as i grew up.
betrayals, competitions, puppy love and whatever u could think of entered my life when i was in secondary school. i hated facing those traumatic events that took place, but that was how friendships were bonded. camps, campfires, guides and THE ONE i looked forward to meeting in school. i believe that most of u guys out there also had more or less the reasons that never fails to make u attend school everyday, that provided us with the drive and motivation to put in our very best in whatever we did. i really missed those days, laughters, tears, fights, true emotions?haha
what about now? what is that thing that motivates u, that keeps you going? your relationship with ur boyfriend? girlfriend? your future of getting into NUS? or just simply pleasing your parents? dreams? ur future prince charming?
oh well
LOVE DOESN't MAKES THE WORLD GOES ROUND
dreams!
once, love and friendships kept me going, but for now, dreams rock the world. as i "age", i started to realize that nothing in this world is eternal. cuZ people and emotions are everchanging. dreams are different. they may seem far far away from us, beyond reach or recognition, but at least we have a goal to strive at to aim for, am i right?
what's the definition of dreams again?
dream: a wild fancy or hope
u see ar...
hope...because of hope we live
because of dreams...i had the motivation to live on
to prove that dreams will come true one day!
so dun laugh at my dreams k? *muacks
i was here at 13:46
Thursday, November 04, 2004
the sun was shining brightly this morning.
now it's pouring.
oh well, it shows that the weather changes as fast as my mood.
i was like crazy this morning, but now here i am, feeling depressed.
i caught the Cellulartoday.
intended to watch Shark's tale but...
2 people commented it wasn't that nice and i never loved cartoons.
maybe if they screen something like Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast
i'll pay $6.50 or even $8.50 to watch it.
Cellular was nice...lixian was right! *muacks
guess what's the conclusion of the show?
1) it's to your advantage if you take up biology in your school days
WHY? cuZ u get to kill the kidnappers by just slitting his arm...
2) Nokia 6600 is a nice phone
WHY? cuZ it has all the functions that is needed in an emergency...
yesterday was the beginning of a level papers..
now it's pouring.
oh well, it shows that the weather changes as fast as my mood.
i was like crazy this morning, but now here i am, feeling depressed.
i caught the Cellular
intended to watch Shark's tale but...
2 people commented it wasn't that nice and i never loved cartoons.
maybe if they screen something like Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast
i'll pay $6.50 or even $8.50 to watch it.
Cellular was nice...lixian was right! *muacks
guess what's the conclusion of the show?
1) it's to your advantage if you take up biology in your school days
WHY? cuZ u get to kill the kidnappers by just slitting his arm...
2) Nokia 6600 is a nice phone
WHY? cuZ it has all the functions that is needed in an emergency...
yesterday was the beginning of a level papers..
All the bezt to those taking the a's...especially ronZ...please study lo! =)
i was here at 18:21
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
*-haRpi3FreNx
i was here at 15:07
dear and mE
i was here at 15:06
me and ah xue
i was here at 15:04
接受
曲：林毅心 词：阿管 编：Mool/Yugi
彷佛上一分钟 你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空 却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼过的歌到底有什么内容
彷佛已经自由 下一刻我变成风
吹过你的领空 差点失控 回忆在夜里闹得很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷
我们都接受 一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实得过了头 不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头 把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动 能记得多久
i was here at 14:23
spare urself a minute from ur hectic lives.
are u missing someone this very minute?
haha. I AM!
missed ya gals lots...
jasline.lixian.xuezhen.vivian.stephanie.
*muacks!
see ya gals this saturday.
we can then take pics.shop.eat.gossip.
to vivian.stephanie and the pink bear!
I WILL BE BACK!
are u missing someone this very minute?
haha. I AM!
missed ya gals lots...
jasline.lixian.xuezhen.vivian.stephanie.
*muacks!
see ya gals this saturday.
we can then take pics.shop.eat.gossip.
to vivian.stephanie and the pink bear!
I WILL BE BACK!
i was here at 01:02
